


the caring and keeping

by anthropologicalhands



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen, Literal Heart-Giving, Magical Realism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthropologicalhands/pseuds/anthropologicalhands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>giving away hearts should never be taken lightly</p>
            </blockquote>





	the caring and keeping

I wanted your heart long before I fell in love with you. It was the perfect prize; tangible evidence to prove to Ino that I could exist apart from her. And I was not alone in wanting; your heart was coveted by so many others. I don’t know what value we attached to it. I don’t know when, for me, it became something more.

Perhaps it was when I found your flaws or when your sharp edges made me bleed. It could have been anything, really. I only know what it means to me now.

Your heart is no diamond. It is much more fragile, and needs to be handled with care.

And yet the night you left, you gave it to me.

It was  _your_  heart in my hand when I awoke on that bench. So much heavier than I expected. So much more flawed and infinitely more valuable.

I do not know what message you intended by leaving it in my care. Was it worth so little to you? Or is your trust that great? After all, you willingly sold your soul, but still left this for my keeping.

Either way, I promise to keep your heart as best I can.

In turn, I ask you to show the same regard for mine.

You did not, despite all assumptions to the contrary, leave Konoha a heartless thing.

I do not know if the act of confessing brought my heart into your possession or if you saw your opportunity as you laid me out to rest. Either way, it is yours now.

So  _please_.

Take care.

My heart is not weak but is it softer than yours, malleable and easily bruised. Not all of us have precious stones for hearts.

–

It is shameful to say it, but it took time before I noticed the switch. I thought the strange weight that settled in my chest and the sharpness that seemed to tear with every breath simply came from the hurt of losing you.

Imagine my shock, to realize that it was yours. That the heart I offered was taken. The ache I felt was not only from your absence but also the growing pains of my body adjusting around this unfamiliar entity.

It was good that I started training with Tsunade-shishou after you left. Her guidance was necessary to strengthen myself, to figure out how to bear this new responsibility.

It worked; I rarely notice it now, your heart is such a part of me.

However, just because it is your heart I hold, does not mean I do not still know what you do with mine.

Your body is strong. My heart has never had a better house to protect it.

But you handle it roughly. I feel it every time you take my heart out to cradle in your hands. When you leave imprints from your too-strong grip and your clumsy attempts to smooth them out.

Exchanging hearts is a gesture for lovers, when they are new, to learn about each other. To learn how to take care of each other in ways the other might not mention.

We are not lovers. But we have each other’s’ hearts, regardless.

Sasuke-kun, again, please be careful with mine.

–

I almost killed you today and you almost killed me. It was a risky endeavor and a foolish one. The poison that coated my kunai was not meant to attack your (  _my_ ) heart but your nervous system. It would have destroyed you.

Would it have killed me as well?

At the time I did not let myself think of how this mission would cost me; your death was the imperative and I intended to carry it out at any cost.

Of course, you seemed to have as little regard for your own heart, the way you aimed your hand at my back. Did you intend to rip it out of me or did you just forget that it was given in the first place?

The second time, however, you went for my throat instead. Perhaps you realized that keeping your heart intact might save you.

Maybe?

I don’t know anymore.

–

I do know that I should have never confessed to Naruto. That was foolish. The heart I have, sitting heavy in my chest, was not one I could give him.

–

You take my heart out more and more often these days.

I feel your hands around it even deep within the battlefield. Not only in the heat of battle but the quiet moments as well.

Like when that man confessed to me.

You made my heart twist, squeezing until my pulse was hammering in my ears, drowning out all other sound.

Don’t do that: it distracts me.

I accepted the letter even as I turned him down, and was grateful that it was all he tried to give.

–

Your heart is calmer, these days. It is good for both of us, for it means that you are sane and I am focused.

I keep it within me, as always, for it is still a fragile thing and there is no stronger vessel in the world for it now.

I think I protect your heart better than I ever protected my own.

Are you the same way?

Because the way you handle my heart—it’s a wonder yours was still whole.

–

When you made your way to Naruto, I called out to you.

Pleading with someone is very different, when you have exchanged hearts. I know you felt all of my love for you, all of my pain and fear as I poured out my soul.

You felt my heart jump in your chest, and I felt yours waver as your steps faltered.

Not that it was enough in the end.

When you shoved your arm through my chest, whose heart was in your fist: yours or mine?

–

You give my heart back, when you return for good.

Not because you no longer want it, but because it is time for us to know our own hearts again. We have each other; we lived through this separation, through all of the pain it entailed.

I turn my heart over in my hands, marveling at the changes I see. It has grown both larger and stronger, since you have had it, and is not as damaged as I feared. Yours grew softer, but in its softness lost its fragility. I can see by the look on your face the strangeness of holding it again. Your heart is also stronger, in its own way.

There will be growing pains, adjusting to these new hearts again.

However, this time we won’t be alone.

I know your heart better than anyone. And despite all of my fears, you know mine.

We will learn ourselves anew.

Together.


End file.
